


Multiverses- What is and what could have been

by LovelessTENSHI1



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M, My First Fanfic, Not Beta Read, Not Naruto Epilogue Compliant, in this house we stan an epilogue where they LEAVE konoha :D, omg im so scared yall ive been sitting on this one for years, people will appear as i write them in, the ending never happened lol who is she
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-03-24 12:40:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13811367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelessTENSHI1/pseuds/LovelessTENSHI1
Summary: Any choice you make in this world, no matter what it is, becomes a part of the path you will take in the future. But, because there are infinite universes, in a lot of which some form of you exists, you never really made a choice, because every possible scenario and every possible permutation of the choices you made exists.Or as I like to say:Fuck you, Kishi, your ending can suck multiple cocks, in this house Naruto and Sasuke get a happy ending.





	1. What do we do now?- a new branch is formed

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [From Which We'll Rise](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2617958) by [UchihanoChidori](https://archiveofourown.org/users/UchihanoChidori/pseuds/UchihanoChidori). 



> This is the second fic I ever wrote that is sns but the first one was actually handwritten and that hoe is looooong gone. This lil WIP was started after a particularly heated debate with a friend, which was actually just the two of us yelling at each other how much we hated the end and what could have been done better.
> 
> I'm going to publish the first chapter of this and see how people like it. I've been struck with inspiration for it recently and want to see how it pans out. Maybe I publish more even if people despise my writing. I would like to point out that because I wrote this sometime early 2015 a few months after the whole ending fiasco, some feelings about it all have matured and I changed my mind on how id characterise the boys later. So if the later chapters sound a bit off from the feeling of the first one, it's because I've changed over the years as well.
> 
> I have to say tho, I have no literary skills, but I do read entirely too many fanfics and the premise of this particular one is something I'm quite proud of. At this point tho many people have taken this particular story on, so let's see if I can be original with mine.
> 
> Some people might say my boys are OOC but I'm a firm believer in them crying lots if they ever had a chance to sit down and say some things to each other's face. So if I were you, id expect some tears and hugging and such. If I'm brave enough maybe I write some sexy times lord help me.
> 
> That's it from me for now. If you like it drop me a kudos or a comment, and I might just push this puppy out to its completion. 
> 
> Cheers yall.

Sasuke. That was his first thought. Pain. Lots of it. That was the second one. He opened his eyes and...white. That was the third thought.

 

He wasn't dead. That was for sure. He didn't know how he knew he wasn't dead but somehow he was sure of it. So this must be? The hospital. Yes, that's right. He's in the hospital.

 

That explains the white ceiling and the pain encompassing his entire body. Honestly, even moving his eyelids hurt.

 

And that is when he remembered the final battle Sasuke and he had had. The pain was from that, and just as he decided to move his head to the side to see if Sasuke was with him he heard faint breathing. Steady, as if the owner of the breath was asleep. Well, he supposed he could use some more sleep himself.

___________________________________________________________________________

 

When he looked back at what had happened, the possibility of this being the afterlife was less and less ridiculous. Yes, he appeared to be recovering in the hospital, half reclined on a couple of pillows and staring to his right as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. There sat Sasuke on his own bed. Reading a book about…physics?

 

Which wasn’t even the most surprising part of this whole thing. It was the fact that Sasuke was there. Not dead, not in a cell waiting to be executed, not somewhere halfway across the world doing god knows what; here. Right next to Naruto’s own bed. If his tear ducts didn’t still hurt, how the hell is that even a thing, he would be tearing up like a child.

 

That’s when another possibility presented itself.  _ Am I dreaming? _ I mean it wouldn’t be a longshot. After all, Madara’s goal was the infinite Tsukiyomi. Did Sasuke and he fail to stop it?  _ No, don’t be stupid. You did it. Saved everyone, defeated the bad guy, and woman for that matter. So,  _ “Am I?”

 

“Are you what?”

 

Naruto snapped his eyes to Sasuke. “Excuse me?”, he asked this Sasuke looking individual that could be a product of his own sleeping mind.

 

“You asked ‘Am I’, and now I’m asking, are you what? Did I really hit your head that hard you lost all sense of how to lead a conversation?”

 

“I ah,” his voice cracked so he cleared his throat “I was wondering if I was asleep?”

 

Sasuke looked at him as if he asked what the meaning of life was: “Why are you asking me that? If you were indeed sleeping, that would make me a figment of your imagination, and how would I be aware if you were asleep or not?”

 

“The fact that you’re still sounding like a condescending prick, is making me think that either my brain is really good at making Sasuke replicas, or I am awake and this is another way of you picking on me without having to physically beat me.” Naruto’s voice was rising in volume.

 

“Hn, I didn’t think you’d be in possession of such a word in your vocabulary Naruto,” Sasuke answered with a smirk in his voice. “But seeing as in any situation I will be the smarter of the two, I do have a trick to discerning whether or not you are dreaming.” Sasuke closed his eyes as he said this as if looking at Naruto would put a strain on his intelligence.

 

Naruto grit his teeth. “Oh yes great lord Sasuke do enlighten us with your wisdom.”

 

“Since you asked so nicely. As far as I am aware, a mind in a hallucination or a dream put upon by their own brain is unable to read or comprehend text. Therefore, if I, for example, gave you to read a couple of lines from my book, and you were unable to read them, it would confirm you were still in a dream.” He finished with one corner of his lips upturned. Looking like the cat that just got the cream.

 

“Okay. Yes. Let’s try that.” However, when Naruto started to reach for the book, he noticed he couldn’t actually move.

 

“Ne, Sasuke. I don’t think I can move. Can you lift up the book so I can try and read it?”

Sasuke sighed openly. “Honestly how am I the one that regained the strength in my arm before you? Fine, here.” He raised his right hand holding the book and that’s when it hit Naruto.

 

“Where,” he swallowed “where is your left arm?”

 

“I would presume it’s the same place your right arm is. In the wreckage, we left at the Valley.” Sasuke answered calmly while looking into Naruto’s eyes.

 

“I… we… really fought.” There was surprise in his voice.

 

“Yes, we did.” There was something in Sasuke’s voice Naruto couldn’t really pinpoint.

 

“Leave that for now. Read the damn book.” Right, Naruto forced his gaze from Sasuke’s eyes to the text. He could read it without problems, but the meaning of the text itself escaped him.

“I can read it. I don’t understand it though. But that means I’m awake right?”

 

“Yes Naruto, you are awake.”

 

Something relaxed in Naruto’s chest. He was really here. Both of them were.

Those tears were threatening to spill out, pained muscles or not.

“I swear to god Naruto if you start bawling I will put you in another coma.” His voice held some anger.

 

“ _ Sasuke. _ ” He was losing his hold on the tears as they slid down his face.

 

“Shut up.” Sasuke seemed to be barely holding it together as well.

 

“You stupid bastard, I brought you back. I fucking hate you.  _ Sasuke. _ ” His emotions were everywhere and his chest was heaving with barely contained sobs.

 

“I fucking hate you too now calm down before you choke you, absolute idiot.” There were tears streaming down Sasuke’s face as well.

 

“I really want to hug you right now Sasuke,” Naruto said with a watery smile.

 

Sasuke’s eyes widened. “ God, I told you to shut up.” He let go of the book and wiped his face, which only made his pale complexion look red around the eyes and everywhere he rubbed.

Naruto managed to calm down but was still staring at Sasuke, and there was laughter in his eyes.

“Don’t look at me with that stupid face.”

 

“Oh yeah? Well, make me.”

 

Sasuke stopped rubbing his face and looked at him. “I don’t think so. You look like you would cry even more and wipe your snot all over me if I came any closer.”

 

Naruto sputtered “Haha Sasuke, you stupid bastard.” He gave him a big grin.

___________________________________________________________________________

 

When he woke up again he realised he wasn’t in that much pain, and that he had fallen asleep in the middle of a crying fest between himself and Sasuke.

 

He turned his head to the right again and saw it was dark outside the window, and that Sasuke had turned on the bedside light and was still reading the damn physics book.

“What the hell is so interesting? You’ve been reading it for hours.” Naruto’s eyebrows went up. How someone could dedicate a number of hours to reading anything physics was beyond him.

“That must be some captivating stuff.” he teased.

 

“Oh look who decided to join us again. I thought the princess had fallen into a tear induced coma. Again.” Sasuke smirked.

 

“Shut up and tell me what you’re reading about.”

 

“Well aren’t you the polite one,” Sasuke smirked. “I’m reading a book about multiverses if you must know.”

 

“Multiverses? What the hell is that?”

 

“That is the scientific theory about the existence of universes parallel to ours. Any choice you make in this world, no matter what it is, becomes a part of the path you will take in the future. But, because there are infinite universes, in a lot of which some form of you exists, you never really made a choice, because every possible scenario and every possible permutation of the choices you made exists. Putting it into simple terms for your simple brain. If you were presented a choice of miso or pork ramen for lunch, in this universe you would go with miso, in another, you’d go with pork, and in some other universes, you’d decide to actually care about your body and maybe go for a nice cut of meat and a salad. Understand?”

 

“Yes, I understand. You don’t have to be a prick about it ya know. I’m not dumb.”

 

“Mmhm.”

 

Somehow without even talking Sasuke managed to sound like a bastard.

 

“So why are you reading about it if it’s just a theory?” Naruto was genuinely interested now.

 

“Seeing as the Sharingan is able to transport people and things into separate dimensions, I fail to see why this particular theory should be disputed. And, if you must know, it gives me a measure of peace knowing that there is a universe somewhere out there where mine, and yours, as a matter of fact, lives are not this catastrophically shitty. Because between massacres, lives surrounded by hatred and fear, and just plain destruction and death surrounding us basically our entire lives,  I like to think that there is a Sasuke that is living the most boring and ordinary life I could possibly imagine.” He finished. “And I like to think that somewhere out there, in some form or another, we started our friendship the right way.”He added in a quiet voice.

 

Naruto was staring at him with his mouth open and eyes wide. What do you say to that? How could he possibly follow up that speech?

 

He cleared his throat. “If…if it means anything. I would like to imagine that as well. But somehow, I doubt any Sasuke in any universe would have a boring life if I was with him.” He gave a small smile.

 

Sasuke looked into his eyes after that. “What do we do now Naruto?” There was so much tiredness in his voice it struck Naruto and paralysed him on the spot.

 

“What do you mean ‘what do we do’? We get better and then we move forward.” He tried to give a genuine smile but it wasn’t reaching his eyes. He was scared what Sasuke would say next. Was this it? The moment Sasuke told him he was leaving?

 

“I…” he stopped and sighed. “Naruto, I am tired. We have been fighting for years, and we’re only 17 years old but I feel like I’ve spent more lifetimes than one fighting.” He closed his eyes and opened them before he continued speaking. Naruto was starting to feel sick to the stomach.

 

“I’m reading this book because there is another crossroad in front of us. A choice we must make.” He looked into Naruto’s eyes. “Do you understand? In order to move forward, we are gonna have to make some hard choices again. You have your dream, and even with the Hokage bullshit I said, I don’t want that position. There is nothing for me here.” He averted his eyes from Naruto and looked out through the window, at the moon shining high up in the black sky. “You know this. I know you do. There was never a choice of me staying here.”

 

“Sasuke…”

 

“No. Stop it. Listen to what I have to say now.” He looked back into Naruto’s eyes.

 

Naruto’s throat had completely dried up but he was still trying to swallow. There was so much conviction in Sasuke’s eyes.

 

“Alright. I’ll listen. God knows I’ve done enough talking in this relationship.” He smiled slightly.

 

Sasuke continued. “You know I cannot stay. Be it the fact that they will prosecute me one way or another, or the fact that this village is responsible for the misery in my life. I cannot and I will not stay here. However…however. There are still choices. I don’t…” He cleared his throat. “I don’t have to go alone this time.”

 

Naruto’s breath caught in his throat.

 

“I don’t have to go alone.” He looked down to his hand in his lap now. “ The travelling I’ve done these past few years, no matter the purpose, made me realise how big the world really is. So much more than this damned village. I, we, could do a lot of good.”

Naruto was positively choking at this point. He took a big breath and Sasuke looked up at him. They held their eyes focused on one another for a beat, two.

 

“You’ve been out there too. Don’t think I don’t know you were gone for almost as many years I have. You  _ know _ what I’m talking about.”

 

“Sasuke I…”

 

Sasuke held up his hand. “Yes, I know you want to be Hokage. That has been what you wanted since you were a small brat. I spoke of a revolution. But do you truly think we would be able to do jack shit from this pit of poisonous snakes?” Frustration was bleeding into his voice now.

 

“I’m sorry Sasuke but you don’t get to talk about pits of snakes. Don’t start being hypocritical now.”

 

Sasuke’s eyes hardened at this. “Oh, that is rich coming from you. You know what they did to us. And you still tried so hard to drag me back here. Why pray tell? So I can walk the streets, if they don’t take my head before that, and see the blood and hear the screams of the family they took from me because their pissing contest went wrong? Because of blood prejudice?” His voice was rising. He stopped abruptly and took a big breath. “No, we’re not doing this here right now. What I’m saying is that you have a choice of coming with me this time. That’s all.” He finished and sat back on the pillows again.

 

Naruto was quiet and processing for a few seconds. “Yes, I know what they did. And I tried for years to get their approval and earn their respect. And I made it Sasuke. They love me. But, you’re not wrong in thinking what they did was wrong. No child deserves that kind of treatment.  The Hokage title has been something that has been a goal for years but you misunderstand one thing, it hasn’t been the  _ primary _ goal for a while now. I said if I can’t save even one friend, then I don’t deserve it.” Sasuke looked at him at this. Naruto was staring straight ahead at the wall. “Along the way, I learned what they did, how they acted, and honestly, who I have become through all of this, maybe they don’t deserve  _ me _ .” Sasuke sat up and Naruto turned to him and looked him into the eyes.

 

“I may change my mind one day, but it is not my time now. I might not be my time in another 15 years. I don’t feel like racing for the youngest Hokage in history title because, after everything we’ve been through, boy have things been put into perspective.” Naruto looked at Sasuke’s arm.

 

“Maybe it would be better for us to use our newly acquired powers, for some…charity work. I have a feeling we’ve done a lot of destroying and not a lot of fixing lately.” He smiled and looked at Sasuke. His eyes were wide open as if he couldn’t believe this was happening.

“What I’m trying to say is Sasuke, I would love to accompany you on a little trip.” 

 

“Hah, I didn’t actually think it would be this easy.”

 

“Haha Sasuke, we’ve literally seen the contents of our hearts after we exchanged blows all these times. I’m pretty sure you know what I think of you, and even though I saw your heart I want to thank you for telling me anyway after our final clash. It always helps hearing it from your mouth too.” He gave him an easy smile.

 

“So is that it? We just leave and see where the road takes us?” Naruto questioned.

 

“Well yes. That’s generally how things for wanderers work. I was thinking we follow the trail of destruction the war left and help to reconstruct as we go along.” Sasuke’s voice had disbelief in it.

 

They were doing this. They really were. Okay don’t freak out now Naruto. You are going to do this together. Naruto smiled at Sasuke and he could see Sasuke give a small smile back.

___________________________________________________________________________

 

Of course, it wouldn’t be that easy. Between Sakura coming to their room and giving them both a thorough physical examination, then proceeding to yell at them for about 10 minutes before Kakashi reminded her they were in the hospital, and then she hugged the crap out of them; there wasn’t much more talk between them about the journey they would be taking.

 

As their, read Naruto’s, friends were flooding the room and wishing them, read mostly Naruto, to get better soon, the only words they exchanged were the ‘good night’s’ after an exhausting day of telling people that no they didn’t die, and yes Sasuke is still a prick, but a good prick.

After that were the intense physical therapies to help them get their muscles, that mostly atrophied at this point, back to a reasonable level, and also to help them with the loss of their arms.

 

Sasuke seemed to be progressing brilliantly, and Naruto of course struggled, but surprisingly, only in the eating department. Mostly because his dominant hand was his right and his left was absolutely useless for fine things such as eating with chopsticks. This was easily mitigated with an introduction of a spork in Naruto’s life, which he honestly thought was an invention of the world’s greatest genius.

 

After much-heated discussion within the village council, Sasuke was granted, albeit a tentative, release from all charges. This might have been a result of his heroic actions for the nation during the war, but also Naruto might have threatened to introduce the elders to Kurama and seeing if they can handle him without Naruto around. He was stripped of his ninja rank, and while not exiled from the village, he wouldn’t be doing much business in their name. This unsurprisingly suited him just fine. It meant he could do whatever he wanted. Naruto, on the other hand, was asked if he wanted to start his Hokage training, which to everyone’s surprise he declined, saying he wasn’t ready and that he wanted to ‘live a little’ before responsibilities hit again.

 

A month had passed before the topic of leaving came about once again. At this point, they were doing pretty well. They weren’t in any pain if Sasuke’s side of the story was to believe, and they were doing high-level taijutsu already. Their chakra levels were back to normal, and they found their balance without their dominant arms fine. Of course, Tsunade did tell them about the arms she was growing in the lab with some Hashirama cells, that would be ready in a year or so.

 

They were having a meal at Ichiraku when Sasuke said out loud “I think it’s time we start planning.”

 

“ I was wondering how long it would take you to start feeling jittery in one place. Alright, let’s start then. What’s first on the list?”

 

“Well, we have to tell everyone that matters. That is mostly what you have to do. I’ll take care of supplies.  You can also take the job of getting our papers because I sure as hell am not entering any Konoha administrative building again if it can be avoided.”

 

“That seems deceptively easy… That’s it? I like it. No complications.” Naruto was smiling.

 

“And this is where you’re wrong. Remember you have to tell all your friends you’re leaving the village for an undetermined amount of time with an S rank rogue?” Sasuke had a serious look about him.

 

“Ex S rank rogue thank you very much. You’re welcome for that by the way.” Sasuke raised his left eyebrow.

 

“Oh, I have you to thank now do I?”

 

“Yeah you damn well have.” Naruto was smiling.

___________________________________________________________________________

 

Getting the documents was fairly easy, it was just a matter of waiting for them to be printed again. Sasuke didn’t seem to have any trouble with the supplies. Naruto supposed he travelled basically all the time so he knew what they needed, and that Uchiha money made sure they had everything they needed.

 

It was all down to Naruto announcing the news.  He’d asked everybody to meet at their usual restaurant and didn’t specify what they were gathering for. He supposed it wasn’t completely wrong if they thought they were celebrating their recovery and such.

 

He was walking next to Sasuke to the restaurant, the sleeves of their missing arms overlapping in the wind. He felt oddly happy as if they were holding hands but no one would ever notice. Wait? What? No, no time for those thoughts.

 

They entered the restaurant and noticed they were the last ones there.

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “Hey you guys sorry we’re late, we had some stuff to put away.” Sasuke just nodded at that.

They were occupying basically half of the restaurant. Everyone was there, except of course that obvious gaping spot between Tenten and Lee where Neji was supposed to be sitting. Naruto felt something catch in his throat. Tenten caught his eyes and gave a slight smile that said that they were all feeling the hole but they would be alright.

 

He and Sasuke took a seat between Sai and Sakura. It was a somewhat awkward affair with everyone giving tentative glances in Sasuke’s direction, and not knowing how to approach him, and Naruto trying to keep the mood up. Hinata was giving Naruto glances every few seconds, and Sakura was trying to be inconspicuous in the way she was staring at Sasuke. And Sasuke was just switching from looking at Naruto’s side and staring off into space.

 

Naruto was noticing this but refrained from commenting. He knew Sasuke would need time to reintegrate into society. Everything was going fairly well however he had to deliver the news at some point.

 

Naruto cleared his throat and all conversation slowly stopped and everyone looked at him. “So I know you guys think I, we, invited you today to celebrate our recovery and the end of the war and such but that’s not all.” He looked at Sasuke who nodded at him and he continued. 

 

Everyone noticed this exchange and they were starting to have questioning faces.

 

“I’m sure you’ve all heard by now that I declined the council’s offer to start training for the future Hokage, but I haven’t told you why I did that. I, decided I need some time to reflect. That maybe Hokage is not the way for me anymore. And before anyone says anything I know you know what I mean. We have all been through so much, and we need to come down from all this death and destruction before we can move on. So, Sasuke and I decided we will go on the road, together, for an undetermined amount of time, to do some good. Help people with reconstructing. To lessen the destruction we left after the war.”

 

“Naruto-“ Shikamaru started with wide eyes.

 

Naruto held up his hand. “I know, I know. I’m not asking for your permission though. Understand that. I value all of you as friends but this is something we must do.”

 

Suddenly Sasuke spoke up, “I can only imagine what all of you think of me. But I want you all to know that this is something of a road to redemption. Naruto needs closure as much as I do. And while the gravity of our action is different, we both will find peace if we do this. I didn’t force or threaten or proposition him into this. He decided he would go with me. After all these years I think we deserve this closure.” Naruto was looking at his and feeling as if his heart would burst.

 

“Yes. Yes, we deserve this. After everything that happened, we must do this.” Naruto added quickly.

 

Everyone was staring at them in various stages of disbelief.

 

Ino was the first one to say anything “I kept telling you guys he was chasing him for a reason and now they are eloping. Called it!”

 

Sai added, “Naruto I was unaware of your romantic feelings for Sasuke but it would explain some of your behaviours.”

 

“Shut up all of you!” Naruto yelled with a blush on his face. “It’s not like that.”

 

He heard “Sure it isn’t.” from the crowd and he just covered his face. “Get your head out of the gutter you guys.” He looked at Sasuke next to him and he had his head bowed and was looking like he was thinking about something really hard. “Sasuke, you alright?” 

“Mhm.”

 

It’s not as if he didn’t want to address this particular can of worms in front of everybody because honestly, does he even have any shame left when it comes to all things Sasuke; Naruto wasn’t about to deny or confirm anything anybody might have hinted at. This was one of the things the two of them would have to sit down for and put all their cards on the table.

Naruto noticed people were staring at him as he was staring at Sasuke so he quickly changed the subject.

“I was trying to be very serious about all of this but I should have known all of you would just try and ruin my 15 minutes of maturity. So if you wanna be like that here it is in neat bullet points: - Sasuke and I are leaving soon, possibly this week, to an undisclosed location, mostly because we don’t know where we are going either.

  * You’re all going to be very happy for us because this is going to be a trip for spiritual healing
  * I don’t know if I’ll come back alive because honestly, I can already feel the kunai I’m going to get stuck in my throat when I start snoring like a sleep-deprived bear on our trip.
  * That is all thank you for coming.”



 

The evening wasn’t any more eventful after his little list. It’s not like anybody could tell Naruto what he could and couldn’t do. There did seem to be some reservations about Sasuke still, particularly from Shikamaru eying him across the room the entire time they were there, and Hinata making weird faces at Naruto after his announcement.

 

As they said their goodbyes Sakura came up to Naruto, avoiding Sasuke even though he stood a foot from Naruto and without any qualm about who might hear very clearly said, “ I understand why you are doing this. Honestly, if you hadn’t taken some kind of drastic step I would have been more surprised”, she smiled lightly, “and i know that this is something you have to do together. I hope that-“, she looked towards Sasuke saying this “ I hope that when you come back, the three of us”, she looked back at Naruto, “ can have a talk about your travels and many more things. Please make sure to tell me when you’re going so I can see you off properly.” She rose up on her toes and gave Naruto a kiss on the cheek. 

Sasuke who was pretending not to be listening to the entire time still seemed to flinch away from the sight.

“ Don’t be an idiot Sasuke.”, she chuckled, “I’ll see you guys later. Night.”

Naruto was just standing there for a few moments watching her walk away. He lifted his left hand to his cheek. “What a woman huh? Sometimes I wonder how different things would have gone if I loved her like- nevermind. Let’s go get some sleep. We have stuff to take care of tomorrow.”

He looked at Sasuke who was staring right at him, something passing in his eyes before he seemed to come back to the present. 

“Yes, we have things to take care of still.” He seemed like he wanted to say more, but didn’t know where to start.

They started to part ways, each residing in a different area of Konoha, and Naruto just stood there again. Looking at Sasuke's retreating back and thought,  _ How do I even start dealing with any of that? _

It was going to be an interesting journey, to say the least.

  
  
  
  



	2. All we have is but an illusion of choice - Introspection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the space between passing out in the battle field, and waking up in the hospital, what were they dreaming about?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW my dudes, have i been gone or what XD I'm super sorry for that but uh life happened, mostly crippling depression and then a grad school application, and then all the homework a grad student has to do...not to mention i relocated across the continent uuuh so yeah, been busy. This is a short chapter. I'd actually written a third of this immediately after i finished the first one but then i couldnt think of how to carry on with it. But here i am, due a project in 2 weeks so i wrote this during my breaks between project writing. oops? Anyway I hope you enjoy it. I promise promise PROMISE the next one wont be in like 10 months cuz i actually have a plot written out so i cant wander too much around. AAAH i hope you like this lil tid bit. Its mostly my brain farting k thanks. 
> 
> NOT BETAED BECAUSE IM AN ANIMAL SCARED OF CRITICISM AND REFUSE TO SEND THIS TO MY FRIENDS FOR EDITING SUE ME IDC

**Naruto POV**

 

When did this  _ thing _ start? Well, the answer will depend on who you ask. 

 

But first you have to define what the  _ thing _ is. For years it seemed like he really hated Sasuke. When he was a young kid, and Sasuke seemed like he had it all, a family, talent, looks, Naruto was incredibly jealous. But when you are that young and don’t really have a grasp on complex emotions, he thought he just really hated him. It’s not like he thought about his own situation though. He is 8 years old, in an apartment of his own, nobody taking care of him, he eats whatever he wants, goes to bed whenever he wants. It’s all up to him. You can’t ask a kid to stop and think about what’s happening in his life. He just took it as it is and carried on to the best of his abilities just like any other kid out there. But he wasn’t like any of the other kids, was he?

Wasn’t he always under the watchful eye of the Third? There must have been some kind of ANBU escort trailing him at all times and monitoring his chakra for any irregularities. An orphan with a pair of parents that were war heroes, and great ninjas of Konohagakure. But did they ever tell him that?

Somewhere in this place between his mind, a dream, and wakefulness where Kurama is snoring his way into the next decade, stood Naruto. Looking around him, there was just an open space, endless, and overbearing if we are being honest. Kurama is in the centre of this vast space. Curled in a restful sleep.  _ You look very comfortable there huh. _

 

It is a welcome sight after the previous vision of his mind space, Naruto thinks.  _ What was up with the pipes and the water and general sliminess. You’d think I grew up in a gutter in Amegakure. _ There is a certain humour one can find in ripping your old self a new one.  _ Wasn’t I just the dramatic one? _

 

Naruto is standing there looking around himself, wearing a very breezy hospital gown. His right arm gone a little above the elbow, wrapped in tight bandages that went across his torso as well. Even in this place in between, he was still feeling very tired, and there was so much pain. Turning towards Kurama’s sleeping form, he did look appropriately fluffy for a little rest.

 

He walked to him and settled down against his right paw, leaning his left side against Kurama’s cheek. He grunted from the effort it took to freaking crouch. Most powerful ninja in the world here folks, can’t crouch without almost falling apart.

 

He let out a big sigh.  _ Much better. You are incredibly comfortable you old fox. _ It’s not like he expected an answer, but it was still weird to not hear Kurama comment about something he was annoyed with him.

 

Even when he is supposed to be sleeping, Naruto seems to have to do something. Now I guess he is supposed to be reflecting. Since he is alone with his thoughts, and incredibly comfy,  _ thanks for that _ , he should think about things. Maybe even have a monologue with himself. He’s very good at talking.

 

With the war over, and no pressing matters in terms of enemies, plus he's pretty sure he saw Sasuke next to him before he passed out, this might be the moment to think about what you want to do from here on out.

Naruto was never one for staying still, so even if he realises he will physically be bound to a bed for a little while, he can sort things out with himself while he lays there.

 

It’s something that has been bothering him for a while now. Why  _ did _ he pursue Sasuke so relentlessly. As if he were possessed. Unable to stop and think and do something that wasn’t about, how do i get better, to beat Sasuke, how to I become smarter, to outmaneuver Sasuke. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke. Is this how you think about your friends?

I mean, when the whole thing with Gaara was happening, Naruto was the first to jump to help, but he doesn’t feel the same pull with Gaara like he does with Sasuke.

 

Sakura might say that he was just attached and obsessive, because he found something in Sasuke when he was younger that called to him, and just couldn’t detach himself. She might say it isn’t healthy. I mean, she might not be wrong? Nothing about him and Sasuke was ever healthy now was it. But being a part of the ninja world meant you didn’t get to do things the easy or always the healthy way. Besides, did we forget the part where he didn’t have parents and was shunned most of his life? Takes a toll on the emotional maturity of a guy.

 

Sasuke was always the brightest point in his life, every since they met as snot-nosed brats. He had people and things, and then he was better at school, then he lost everything and became darker and ruthless, but always, always so appealing. They do say dangerous things are most often very beautiful as well. He supposed that’s something to describe Sasuke as; dangerous, and beautiful. And maybe that’s where a lot of this conundrum ( _ heh bet you Sasuke would be impressed with that word, yes I do read, on occasion _ ) comes from, he thinks that Sasuke is beautiful. Not one to have a heterosexual crisis, but you’d think a guy who’s secret weapon against a god is morphing into a bunch of naked dudes, wouldn’t be exactly straight.

 

Even without much physical experience with sex and attraction, Naruto is still well aware of the power of sex. It is used as readily as violence in their world. Plus all those books that Jiraiya wrote, he knows things. Which is why, now that he’s sitting down and thinking about it,  _ is he _ attracted to Sasuke? Physically? Emotionally he’s a total goner let’s not even go there right now. Sasuke is a very beautiful person, but there is that mental and emotional connection that makes him so very attractive as a person, at least to Naruto. He doubts his shining personality would score high with most other people. It’s their history that makes them,  _ them _ . Something about Sasuke’s mere presence and energy feels so familiar and good to Naruto. Besides the point where they seem to be reincarnations of actual brothers, it seems they were destined to end it all, by just giving in, not into the hate and violence, but into this attraction. Maybe there was something special about this round of reincarnation, something special to  _ Naruto’s and Sasuke’s _ soul that had nothing to do with Indra and Ashura.

 

But for all his talk of knowing and understanding, does he actually understand if this is...love?  _ Aaaaah sweet Sage of Six paths, I really love him don’t I?  _ Naruto rubs his eyes and winces.  _ This is too much, I’m too hurt to think about this after all. I give up. Release me into the sweet sweet abyss of nothingness!! I don’t want to think about him all the time. _ Which is when his exhaustion reached such levels, he couldn’t even keep a mental scape going. The pain pulled him under, in a dreamless sleep.

 

**Sasuke POV**

 

Leave it to Sasuke to set up a clear goal and fail once again. At this point he’s wondering if his whole life is just a huge cosmic joke. Something appropriately tragic, and redeeming enough for the audience to be horrified but also enjoy it. He is obviously not dead, as he is neither burning in the depths of Hell, nor is he seeing any of his family. However, it is a hell of it’s own to remain alive after all he has done.

 

Sasuke is dreaming, of nothing. Just a field, and a sky, and some directionless wind. Sitting there on the ground, in his battle kimono, covered in his own blood. A sleeve swaying every which way, no left arm in sight. He sighs, even here there is no respite from the choices he has made.  _ I said a battle to the death, not see how much we can cripple eachother till we call it quits.  _ Figures that even now, the universe laughs at him.  _ You cannot get a single thing you ask for you moron. Haven’t you learned anything in the last 17 years?  _ After so many years of battling himself and the world around him, Sasuke just felt so damn tired.  _ I think I’m due a vacation. _

He isn’t due some kind of epiphany, the one Naruto and he shared in their bumbling unconscious daydream, borne of stupid stupid blood loss was enough. It’s not as if he didn’t know the things his mind showed to him then either. He’s well aware of the years of jealous observations from the sidelines, the bitterness chewing at his soul. Sometimes he would get so lost in their missions and the things they did together that the tragedy of his life would fade away, just for a moment. And when the excitement would fade, he would be hit with a wave of disappointment with himself. How DARE he lose sight of what is important? His life isn’t his to decide, to be happy, to be healthy, to do things he wants to do, prospering in any which way that would make him a well adjusted happy human. A family, a future really. All decided that one faithfull night that Itachi fulfilled his mission. Any plans that he might have had as a regular kid went up in smoke. A singular goal consumed his entire being. He supposes he died that day with the rest of his clan. His only goal being to become stronger than Itachi and kill him wasn’t really any kind of planning an 8 year old should be forced to do. He didn’t know it then but he had essentially planned his own death. There wasn’t anything to be done after that particular event. Kill Itachi, cease to exist. It’s quite depressing when you think about it. Who signs their own death warrant at age 8? But then again he wasn’t meant to survive that night anyway so he was living on borrowed time anyway.

 

If he thinks about it, his embarrassment with himself during those happy times with Team 7 weren’t because he missed precious training hours, but because they showed him there was something good out there, that made living fun and worth it, and he shouldn’t have been swayed into these sweet promises. He wasn’t alive. He was a corpse with a mission, only walking and functioning long enough to fulfill its mission and then promptly drop dead. What a sad existence, even Sasuke admits to that. But at the time he didn’t know a different way to live. Destined for a pitiful existence. Maybe that was just his faith for this life. In his previous one he’d done something he needs to pay for now. He supposes the whole reincarnation business has something to do with it. But he refuses to be a willing puppet any longer. Even if you have a shitty situation thrust upon you, what you do with it is ultimately up to you. And Sasuke has had enough shit dumped on him thank you very much.

 

He knows how he feels. He’s pretty sure Naruto knows how he feels as well. And if he doesn’t well, they have time to correct that don’t they? Now more than ever that is something he has a lot of, time.

 

Sasuke stands up from his lonely, vaguely windy mindscape.  _ It’s time to wake up and carry on.  _ And for the first time in his life, he is actually excited for what the future can bring.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh i hope...that was ok im sorry ok i just needed this lil bit in between cuz my brain said EXPLORE THEIR DEPRESSIVE FUCKN THOUGHTS and then somewhere in the middle my own depression broke and i lost my train of thought TToTT.  
> Anyway the only thing i wanted to put accross with this particular chapter is that Naruto isnt a dunderhead unaware of his own and others feelings, and that Sasuke is incredibly selfish but also hes starting to be selfish with how well he wants to treat his own wellbeing.  
> The next chapter they finally set off on their travels and...well stuff starts slotting into place lets say.  
> Just a spoiler for future chapters, they dont just jump into it, we are gonna have a lot of bitter babies and conversations.  
> Also also a lot of myself is in these characters so a lot of these dialogues are from personal experience of me being angry and bitter and jealous and negative. soooo i guesssss....if they seem OOC im SOORRYYYY OK IM PROJECTING I KNOW  
> thanks for sticking with me tho m(_ _)m   
> I hope this was okay and onwards to the next chapter (whenever that may happen but lol christmas break is soon and i am still writing my project so ill prolly have these procrastination sessions anyway i dunno maybe ill have a christmas present for yall ayyyyyy)  
> PEACE OUT

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, that is it for what I have for you now. I hope you like it. If you don't that's fine as well.  
> I would like to point out here in the end notes that English isn't my first language and while I am pretty fluent, some sayings will sometimes escape me.  
> In any case, I hope my writing hasn't offended your neurons, and if you'd like to read more, I will continue to try and improve it.  
> And I highly highly highly recommend you read the work I have cited as my inspiration from the lovely uchihanochidori, if you haven't already that is.


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